Sunday, August 7, 2016

Age & the Lonliness

This morning I was walking up from the bakery to my car....
a lady about my vintage had stopped to do up her jacket against the icy chill in the air....

I commented on the chill.
She said " I am going to move to Qld where it is warmer "
se went on to explain how a girlfriend lived there & her husband had died 2 years ago & she felt so lonely"
She said "tell me about it I have moved 5 years ago after my husband died & I know no one. 
I have joined everything "

I said it would be good to move & enjoy a different life....
as we often feel we stand still wasting precious time alone 
but more to the point feeling lonely.

So many times I enter discussions on this subject of a life alone as we grow older, perhaps move after a spouse has died....
move to a new area, 
because the old area cannot hold us any longer....
but a new area as we slink a little to the aged society 
can be an abrupt lifestyle change that we never anticipated.

Moving as I have done a few times...
& so have some of my friends...
The area one moves to is also part of this loneliness.  

If it is a conservative town or city....there is so little room for connection of any substance.  

Being a single woman now also excludes us from after hours visits & dinners etc..why ??? 
well dangerous species is such an arrogant way of thinking ..
to exclude friends at evening or celebration times.
But if one dares to open this discussion it is the most common form of exclusion.... 

Anyway....people who stay after a spouse has died or a marriage suddenly falls apart can also so experience the same journey.

I guess none of us are immune, no matter what delivers us to this point.

Connection with some sort of meaning with friendship is really needed to bring about a more healthy aged society.
The Men's shed has been an amazing spirit of connection for men
Now for women there are fragments of many clubs to join..
I know nothing as i have joined none LOL
But it is perhaps the psychological structure that needs bringing together many of the women ....
are there things out there that do not reach far enough into society ?
I need to go off & mull over all of this while I do some painting..