Sunday, August 7, 2016

Age & the Lonliness

This morning I was walking up from the bakery to my car....
a lady about my vintage had stopped to do up her jacket against the icy chill in the air....

I commented on the chill.
She said " I am going to move to Qld where it is warmer "
se went on to explain how a girlfriend lived there & her husband had died 2 years ago & she felt so lonely"
She said "tell me about it I have moved 5 years ago after my husband died & I know no one. 
I have joined everything "

I said it would be good to move & enjoy a different life....
as we often feel we stand still wasting precious time alone 
but more to the point feeling lonely.

So many times I enter discussions on this subject of a life alone as we grow older, perhaps move after a spouse has died....
move to a new area, 
because the old area cannot hold us any longer....
but a new area as we slink a little to the aged society 
can be an abrupt lifestyle change that we never anticipated.

Moving as I have done a few times...
& so have some of my friends...
The area one moves to is also part of this loneliness.  

If it is a conservative town or city....there is so little room for connection of any substance.  

Being a single woman now also excludes us from after hours visits & dinners etc..why ??? 
well dangerous species ..it is such an arrogant way of thinking ..
to exclude friends at evening or celebration times.
But if one dares to open this discussion it is the most common form of exclusion.... 

Anyway....people who stay after a spouse has died or a marriage suddenly falls apart can also so experience the same journey.

I guess none of us are immune, no matter what delivers us to this point.

Connection with some sort of meaning with friendship is really needed to bring about a more healthy aged society.
The Men's shed has been an amazing spirit of connection for men
Now for women there are fragments of many clubs to join..
I know nothing as i have joined none LOL
But it is perhaps the psychological structure that needs bringing together many of the women ....
or 
are there things out there that do not reach far enough into society ?
I need to go off & mull over all of this while I do some painting..


 

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Been a while...

SPECS: 
I'll be back in a tic..need the reading glasses
Isn't it the way now...
Thank goodness we can have glasses to see better with though ...

HAIR COLOUR:
This morning I finally found colour to cover my very white hair...
Lately I get a blonde that turns out a lovely mauvey shade of grey
So days of washing to tone that rot down.

Today I experimented with EXCELLENCE 8.31
Worked a treat...
It looks like I have tried !!!
I had a moment to think back to my hairdressing days..
Where we tried so many colours....
Reds... Burgundy... browns... blonde..streaks..
Then today as


TAIL GATING DRIVERS
I find that when my hair gets real white 
& I drive I am bothered by tail gaters far more than with colour...
Women as well as the men tramp up behind me to try to intimidate...
All sorts of well respected looking people try that on...
&
you expect it from some...but just wearing a suit doesn't cut it with me.....I worked in a huge corporation surrounded by suits....

ANYWAY....
We need to be what we are meant to be....
I come alive with the music from 60,s, 70,s & 80,s  & some later stuff....
Do you think we could do dancing to this music to ...keep us trim & agile & ????
I think we do  need something like this....sing at the top of our voices....
***
I want to tell you soon of the stories I have....
from my friends & I guess myself...
many girlfriends do amazing things alone & a couple of the men do too...
Seizing the Days ...
***
Winnebago travelling 
Open a successful hair salon & work at it after one turns 50 
Buy a Country General Store & Pub .....it takes 2 for this one & no mean feat
Build your dream home at 60 +++ like owner builder
Milk cows the Mum helping out after 70...
Do trade shows & quilt shows...
Artist classes & run art exhibitions...
Take off & travel alone
Run quilt shops & design businesses in 60's & 70's
Show up in international & national magazines...
Run Pinterest, blog, facebook,....some even still run
Plough fields...grow stuff
Restart old rock bands
Think of renovating the house at 70 ..
Is this what dreams are made of  ????
*****
There are more, but ...we all like to do things......
rather than just travel with someone.....
join the bowls set..or the golf set..
or just sit because we may be alone or with a reluctant partner..

(It is our days.... each can work it through as long as one does not rely on the other...this does not mean not conversing about what you want to do.....but not accepting you cannot give it a try)

Clubs are great for those who are club & commitment minded..
I'd run a paint or sewing group but we'd never take it too seriously...
sharing , caring &  laughter as well as the serious cup of chat in the corner.....
I'm off I have things to do !






Saturday, March 19, 2016

Friendships


Friendships..
What are they really...?
our expectations of how someone reacts when we have a need to share? 

Friendships are
diverse...
possibly a little representation in each of ourselves.

Not always what we have in common...
that may bring us together in the first place...

I have found friends in the most unexpected places...
I am an open style of personality these days...
I like people
I find them interesting
I like what I learn from all the friendships I have & have had.


I moved a LOT in later life...
By choice
But disrupting my life completely
Alone 
It certainly tested me beyond my wildest thoughts..
.... well you know, it never pays to ponder too much if one is going to do things... because half never go do..
It is the nature of seeking ...perhaps ?

In & for my own experiences 
I have learnt more things about myself than I reckon I would have learnt if I had stayed put....


Friendships in older life are different...
gathering ...people... 
but because I have moved many locations where I have really begun again & again
( that is another story )
I have left friends behind...
Everything for a while is from a distance...
New friendships like ones left behind take a long time to form into a solid lovely hug....


I also wonder as we grow older 
we are not forming the same styles of friendships as we once did...

some of us will move, die or just forget who we are...


Through school I made the measure of friendship..
my best friend & I 
kept each other company along the teenage journey..
we did at least one year of totally giggling...
we shared our values & formed many...to carry us through.


I often find it rather sad today as the value of people can be sometimes taken so lightly...if a friend starts to travel a bumpy road...
Many today, as I listen to conversations are left on the road side..
Technically dumped because I suppose it isn't why that friendship was formed.
As I said I am interested in people & my initial training for work was listening to people as we hairdressers soothed the crinkles from a stranger's( often) life...
as we touch they talk.
It is a bond never to be taken lightly
A gift given 
of
caring...
listening..
being there...
costs so little but rewards are enormous..
As I write that I laugh to myself
is this my reward for being the type of  friend I am.
I can say I feel rewarded a bit & it does give me such a buzz...
You know quietly walking beside someone in good & bad days is amazing....
whether that be by physical presence, phone ... email.. even text ..or perhaps a real written letter...if there is a postal service to deliver it !
Now I need to walk... perhaps with myself or with a friend..
But I need to walk

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Now Where Was I ?..ah makeup


It was still terribly hot the morning I went to have makeup applied at the Bodyshop.
The shop was wonderfully cool as my face was cleansed 
then....
Makeup was applied....
Moisturiser & tiny drops of rose oil & stuff to set it all so the liquid makeup is then lightly brushed onto my face.
Eye shadows were next & eye liner & mascara....erace for under the eyes...
and then Blusher & some lovely soft glitter powder 
( I used to use something like this when I was much younger ) 
&
Lipstick....first around the outside of the lips was a wax pencil application to stop the lipstsick bleeding into the skin....how neat is that !

I loved it so much, the final finish was smooth, light & flattering...it remained on perfect all day even in 38 degrees...

As the makeup artist brought me into a nicer world she told me everything she was doing & using...
&
I now have a chart to be able to choose which item to buy next.

I bought the eye shadow little block of 4 flattering colours for more mature women and the great eyeliner that is easy to gently apply...
I do want the lipstick now as I tried a pink/orange & thought a bit too pink for me but it was very flattering to the skin colour & teeth...

The $40 this did cost was educational & I came away feeling more glam than I have for a long while 
&
I could redeem the cost of the makeup application on product ....so I had $40 to spend...
It is a really lovely experience.

The staff are well trained, not pushy....you know I'd be tempted to go do this again when I want to buy more product & I'd time it for an occasion.

The only thing is you need to book.....that is it..
Go try it is just fun & the feeling is great.
***
I don't have a before picture....but I have freckles & fair skin & wrinkles !!! 

My hair is a bit wayward as it grows down again....got into it's mind I want to have frizzy curls...wrong !!!
This week I return for another trim, taming the curls now....
  
On another note as I finish up....
Friday afternoon I was waiting for the sun to move ( like go down & have a rest )
It was 3pm.....
"I am going in to see the movie "
just as my friend Denise told me she did a few days before...
you know how wonderful it feels to be decisive & just go...?

The Lady In The Van
Checked the time of next session it was 3.45 just time enough.
I always enjoy Maggie Smith & she is always brilliant.
The story continues to raise issues.....I keep thinking of another sub story...there are so many.
I came out feeling the movie had wrapped itself around me.....that I was so close to it.....
It is definitely food for thought ...for anyone aging & it is a plot maybe about being not connected to society & too many mega hurts made her decisions for her & there she was coping, reluctant to trust ever again &  ohh it is sad,....but sure worth seeing.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Make Up.....

Makeup
Today I went exploring in the 
BODY SHOP

Helpful, 
Informative 
and not pushy....
was the lovely person who answered my questions & suggested things.

This is how you do it, if you feel slightly intimidated ...
"Do you have a range of makeup for older women."
Ask the assistant to tell you about the range
Don't make the mistake anywhere of asking or being slipped across to anti - aging products.
I figure I have gone too far for them LOL
This is about making up !!!

***
I was first shown the amazing range of light foundations....
&
the moisturiser to pop under that.

I kept asking ...eye shadow, I was shown the eraser coverup pencil for filling in under the eyes...
a moist filmy blusher
mascara
eyebrow colouring in a powder form ..
( no I don't need that but what a great product for anyone who does)

Oils of Life also looked interesting 
I have free samples of the 
Intensely revitalising oil 
&
the intensely revitalising sleeping cream
 I have the oil on now... can you see how divine that looks ???

I also pondered the hand & foot products...
Lots to save for....look forward to.... 
Oh what absolute fun this part of the journey will be.

NOW THE BEST BIT

I asked if the shop did full makeup ..
YES
$40 which is redeemable in product...
&
on March 8th 
I will be having a beauty treatment ..
with my redeemable $40 
 I have plans
To buy...
a foundation which is about $16....
&
The blusher...???
Just do not let me go crazy first off...
I need to eat...LOL
Perhaps there is an incentive ....no food junk ..buy makeup as the reward for not doing so 

You will just love a little look with some attention on the details of the ranges.
I want some foot peppermint stuff later too.

I did buy the moisturiser
"Wonderblur"
I liked the finesse to that....
This was about $36  I think.

I walked past a grand large poster Iris in the Blue Illusions window....
the lady who has helped move me forward...





Saturday, February 27, 2016

Sunday .Follow Your Dreams

Sometimes I save things to remind me to...
Follow My Dreams  ...
& to at times of change,
 figure out what ARE MY DREAMS ?????
Someone tell me please ....... !!!
is often at this cross road...
Where things begin to irritate, 
Kind of things that scrape the fingernails down the blackboard
Where I am really tempted to settle for less...
to just settle ....
But a little voice says in my ear...
BUT.... 
this is a short life now...
It is okay to follow your dreams...!!!
Just plan a bit first.
*****
If we don't get Lost, we'll never find a new route....
This was on the back of a magazine ...
Simple ??? or Good Life ???
I loved the words, 
&
it does tell us that really we can try a bit & find new ways of going, doing things, meeting people, treating friends , thinking, eating, decorating & even gardening....
What about a brand new garden right where you are now....? 

Maybe many are never comfortable to step out.....
where just as many are full of excitement to try a new road...
sometimes though we are held back...
Not enough funds .....to do just as one wants...
or when you do someone slying takes $30,000 off you.....& I suppose still is at mass every Sunday. 

or 
 we have an ailment

If you are alone in that world now...
Do a few little things alone...
Once a week, don't push yourself..
You shop alone ? ....it can be that simple to stroll down the grocery aisles & shop truly for one..
You know have asparagus.... that ????
I am going to do some work on my dreams now...
I use a piece of paper & sort of block things I want to do, feel, be
Then I get a largish canvas frame & some double sided tape & cut pictures from magazines..
to help me see my dreams a bit better....

Monday, February 22, 2016

Soap... Nesti Dante Soap

This morning....
the last of a French soap was in the shower thing..
however I had been longing for it to finish so I could delve into this ...
my favourite soaps
NESTI DANTE 
Italian..tripple dipped ...
which means the perfume remains through the enormous block


Ahhh.... I opened the pack & the perfume is strong, but gentle..it touches my senses & goes straight to my soul
Each day the perfume waits for me....
I walk by the bathroom during the day
I am transported to some delightful spot just by that little drift of aroma... 
 There are many flavours & you will pick your own distinct favourites 
I have a few .....and when I find a store that has many I stand looking, thinking , deciding ...
Lettuce is another I like....oh there are many including Rose which is not one I buy...
But it is preference .....it is for each of us who we are .....in the senses it is how we were made ....
For me this is a luxury...well so much cheaper than therapy.....
&
I get to use it each morning...
So lucky !!!

When I was being a gypsy & things are hard when one moves into brand new spaces....
never knowing which foot to step out with...
I bought this soap  on a whim & unfurled it & vowed this was for me each & every day.
It to me is exquisite...

Now to explore more exquisite things... 


Sunday, February 21, 2016

I do feel like a fish out of water some days !.

Beginning this adventure has suddenly presented different challenges
First is putting this into the wider world ...
Friends are responding on my emails 
Nicole has made a fun comment !
I will need to ask permission to share the private comments on here...
inspiring...company too as I wander along

I need to take photos of other things than I usually do...
Thinking shifts too
How do I ??? 
where do I look ???




 Makeup
I am quite excited about venturing into the big store where the makeup & the experts in each field are advising & selling well known brands that  I basically cut my teeth on..


I thought I need to have a face makeup for my age & allergies 
I now I wonder is it the  Bodyshop first or to the Clinque counter.????


During my hairdressing apprenticeship I was tutored in Revlon makeup 
As we sold it in the salon & had a makeup consultant ...
It was a magical time....
eyeshadow, mascara, foundation, cleanser etc etc


I was fortunate to be taught manicuring at this stage..
My fingernails have been so sadly neglected now even though I know what should be done..

Nail Salons ...
Has anyone gone to have this experience...?

I shudder as my neighbour shows me her nails after the false ones have been removed...
the odour of the products in a small space bothers me...
BUT
on saying that 
I recently took to dropping into a beautician on Bath Lane for a manicure & later a pedicure & a waxing of eyebrows.
I go when the purse permits or I'd rather starve than look at these eyebrows in this state another day. 
I may also try the beautician for makeup too
Ah so many choices 


This blog is just feeling it's feet..
has anyone got good recommendations of where the makeup is for us to look windswept & interesting & beautiful.
I look for trusted product 
I think I need to harness my free range approach to creativity  in a bit for this ....
We'll see....LOL

My Age Journey

It began really with the arrival of Marilyn in the park....
as I walked beneath the huge statue of someone who had meant little in the 60's as I began in the teenage world...


I was wearing some walking clothes 
Sensible walking shoes  too.


As I looked up at Marilyn something shifted within my soul.
She is glamorous .
The dress cleavage is just so...
her makeup perfect & the lipstick feminine.
Suddenly 
I felt she was what feminine stands for...

I want to be transformed I said to myself..
to apply makeup that feels great & looks as if it fits my 67 years...
I want to toss away all my current clothes 
well
begin again...
But HOW ???

So this has begun my longing...
It is a strange age really ...
we have not go as far to go now
The focus in everything is OLD dressed up like mutton is with lamb..
not so good a look..it is depressing ...in a sense as it is such a push to keep moving along with positive zest.
yesterday I strolled into Blue Illusion & saw a postcard that said 
AGELESS
Wow I thought this is so on trend ....
this speaks to me in volumes...
What is this brand ...who is this 94 year old working model..

I wandered back to my car deep in thought.... as just the day previous, I was browsing in Marie Claire magazine at supermarket, it often has interesting articles for me, but none this time 
as
 I placed it back on the shelf next to Cosmo  magazine 
I thought... 
we of the age .... 
we are so needing a magazine just for us ..
to take us like Cosmo & Honey & countless magazines did in the 60’s  ..
it discussed makeup,
 fashion ...
sex, 
living in a flat 
decorating on a shoe string
 & a little love
& life
That filled my country head with aspirations & dreams & singing along to the Animals ..we gotta get out of this place ...with such passion.
It all fed my soul....
it gave me hope & it gave me a focus of sorts I suppose
 ...
We, well me, as a woman of that certain age where it is so easy to feel life has now gone...
the wind has gone out of the sails ....
so much discussion & focus on ailments, check ups, aged care,
well drugged up & let loose in a chair....comes to mind !

We have not much in music (except in the car with the radio full on to Rolling Stones or Fleetwood Mac)  
Why don't we dance the way we did for weight loss to this music ???
..Fashion, that is a constant stylish range that is also affordable for fixed incomes....
Investments.....for what.... leave it all for children, so spend lightly.....
&
baby sitting is a new trend.....what are we doing I scream inside ???
What am I saying...
 lifestyle has become moulded in fear... has it not ?

We need to, as a group, to be inspired to dream some more to take us further ????
I am ticking here, thinking ...
so much is missing 
&
 as pure economy we could drive 2 big trucks thru this market 
not hit the sides of the street....
I have friends who are doing things... so I will ask them for some input...
I will seek more ....
I have ?, observations & things I'd just dream of having now .....will you dream with me ?
That woman who filled me with more fuel and the what ???? to begin to put this out there into the blogger land was
IRIS APFEL
at 94 Iris you are some inspiration !!!!